When I was in fifth grade my teacher Mrs. Cross used to take our class to the library every week. When the doors opened kids dashed not driven by their love of reading but to ensure that they arrived at the paperback section first for the best selection of the "Choose Your Own Adventure" series. If you have never had the pleasure of choosing your own adventure the premise of the books is that why the theme and the beginning of a storyline is laid out throughout the book you choose the fate of the main character. Of course the best part of the book is that should you choose p.86 and realize your headed for doom you can always go back to that fork in the road and choose another page with another outcome.
Throughout Lauren's hospital stay I have felt like we are caught in a Twlight Zone version of "Choose Your Own Adventure". Every one of Lauren's aliments has a different outcome each escalates in it's seriousness. She could have minor effects from teh stroke or she could always be in a state of semi-consiusness. Her breathing could get better or she could wheel of oxygen tank around with her all her life.
While we may not know the events along the path to Lauren's recovery we refuse to turn to the page where she is anything but an altered version of who she was--funny, full of life, loving and fabulous. We will accepted altered beause every experience in life changes you but we refuse to believe in the worst case scenarios instead we have faith that our heroine will fall in the best case scenario because she already has!
Tomorrow marks the second week since the accident. The doctors have removed her ventilator, feeding, and suction tubes from her mouth. Instead she has a small feeding tube in her belly and the doctors did the tracheotomy. Lauren now has a tube in her throat giving her a clear airway to breathe. This makes her more comfortable, gives her better quality breathes and most importantly gives the doctors the ability to finally wake her up.
Weening Lauren off of the sedatives will not be easy. She will begin to really feel the pain that hovers over, around and through her. Last night the weening process began she became a little restless so they upped her pain meds. Last night she created a new record for how long her eyes were opened. She looked around the room and looked at each of her visitors. The kid is coming back!
Much like the story lines of my favorite fifth grade books, we needed a timeline, we needed to understand what happens next? We finally got sketch of a timeline that let's us prepare, understand and plan for what is next. So it looks like this: in the next fews days they hope to move Lauren out of the ICU and into a similar department that will care for her. From there the would like to send Lauren to a rehab facility where they will work with her on her breathing, endurance and her weak right side.
Each day gets a little easier. I wish I could skip forward a few chapters and take a peek into the future--just to easy some of the worry and stress. But in this life while we make choices we can't take them back or alter the effects of them. Instead we wait and take it all as it comes. This too shall pass and what will be will be.
We're not "out of the woods" yet but we can see the exit sign. Keep up the prayers and good wishes. Whether you know Lauren or if you read this blog to support one of our family members--your friendship make the us collectively stronger. I often show my sister the posts on Facebook or the well wishes strangers to her have sent to any one of us and I know it helps bring her some joy at a time when she is beginning to feel the effects of this whole situation.
Thank you for your friendship, prayers, and thoughts. Keep 'em coming!
Love,
us
Amen :)
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