Pretty Brown Eyes

"Look at everything as though you are seeing it for the first time, with eyes of a child, fresh with wonder." -Joseph Cornell

By every set of elevators in the hospital the Chaplin posts a new quote every few days. The quote above was posted today and I thought it was fitting as today we was the first real glimpse of Lauren returning to us. Today on and off through out the day as visitors entered and greeted her Lauren opened her eyes. Sometimes she would also look as if she were smirking. She would at times close one eyes as if she were trying to focus on who you were or on a particular object.

While she has been responding to commands up until today she has not had her eyes open for more than a few seconds. Today she worked up to almost a minute! My nephew Wade said it was like having a baby every little eye opening, toe wiggling thing she does and we all beam like newborn parents.

In was in a quiet moment today that Lauren gave me a little sign that she's in there ready to come out--listening to each of us and to all of your thoughts and prayers. As I held her hand and told her I loved her she tickled my hand. This is something Lauren usually does when we sit together and talk. Every since she was little.

It's these little moments that pushes away the worry and brings in more laughter and joy. Tonight as we sat rejoicing over Lauren's little milestones just a few doors down a family was saying there goodbyes in the ICU. As our room filled with wonder at Lauren's open eyes and mouth movements, their room filled with a sadness all too familiar to our family. The sadness of a tragic event, a life unfinished and a family left with an overwhelming grief that fills your heart.

You could hear the tears from the many family members gathered outside the room. Oh how we felt for them. It was bizarre to watch the ICU function normally as this family's world fell apart. I almost felt guilty while I thanked God that it wasn't us and prayed for that family to heal again soon.

We have built a little community in the temporary waiting room on the 4th floor of the hospital. Ordinarily this waiting room is for the maternity ward down the hall but while they finish construction on the 3rd floor ICU waiting room we all sleep, eat and build community on the 4th floor. We've gotten to know some of the families and their stories. My mom and sisters who haven't spent full days at the hospital often check in with family members or the patients themselves. Some of them in much worst shape than Lauren but each of us understands the ups and downs of the ICU. It's kind of ironic that periodically a "rock a bye baby" like tune chimes through the waiting area signaling the birth of a new baby.

I'll close this post with my last update of the day. Near the end of visiting hours tonight as my mom and sister sat with Lauren the doctor came by to say they found something on one of Lauren's x-rays. My mom and sister braced themselves for a new development. Apparently the last set of x-rays found a piece of metal lodged in Lauren throat. Hmmm....a piece of metal. Any guesses? It seems that in the course of getting Lauren's ventilator in when she arrived at the hospital her tongue ring came loose and stayed stuck in her throat. Reason #462 why you may want to re-think that tongue ring. The doctor asked everyone to leave while he fished her tongue ring out. This was a more involved process but I won't go into that I'll just leave you with the humor of the situation.

Much love,
us