A life altered.....

In our lives we play many roles--a parent, friend, sister, lover but there are some roles assigned to us that we would never audition for. The gods of fate bestow these upon us and we are forced to live out whatever story lines they bring with them.

As an ICU family we stood by as the priorities of Lauren condition differed day by day. What the doctors worried over is what we worried over, when took a collective sigh of relief so did we. Even though we had lingering questions about her other injuries it seemed as though they were not the biggest concern. Now that she has been moved to the trauma unit and she is breathing on her own our attention and their attention has turned to her brain injury.

As I mentioned in another post medical terms are literal. It feels very real and closer to our definition of brain injury when you receive pamphlets and other reading material about brain injuries and the care of patients with them.

I am sitting in Lauren's hospital room now writing this entry surrounded by cards, flowers and old pictures of the Lauren we all know. I can't help but to wonder who will she be. We had visits today from the Speech Therapist and the Physical Therapist.

I'll start with her Physical Therapist report: Lauren took a few steps and set up in a chair. She high fived and gave a thumbs up with her left hand but the right hand is still took weak to do either. She used her left hand to aid in right in both of these tasks.

Her Speech Therapist report: Lauren knew her age and address, she could point to a board and find simple objects like an apple, car, etc. On a cognitive scale of 1-10 1 being someone in a coma and 10 being someone functioning--her therapist gave her a 4 or 5--progress!!

The milestones we will work on for the next week:

-Get a smaller tube in her throat and cap it off so that we can hear her voice. We have found in the world of skills that our family has...lip reading is not one of them.

-Get her off the continuous flow of pain meds. Keeps you groggy--we need her alert.

-Four more days of antibiotics for her pneumonia and bacteria still lurking in her blood.

-Get her up and moving more. The hope to begin to wheel her around the floor and out to the waiting room.

Before we even pack bags for rehab Lauren needs to be tube-free alert and be able to with stand 3 hours of therapy a day. So while we see a light at the end of the tunnel it may just be a sunroof.

In the meantime we prepare and we become more patient in the unknown and continue to count our blessings all 5'8" of her.

Lastly the doctors have asked that we limit Lauren's visitors to family only. I know this may be tough for some of you but please respect this request. Lauren's therapist are tough and invested in her getting better we need to let them guide us through this. We are happy to accept your cards, pictures, etc and we do our best to share them with Lauren. The truth of the matter is that these are days that will not live in her memory. We have to accept that all the air kisses, hand squeezes, and mouthed words are part of her process but don't take it personal baby. She knows she is surrounded by love which puts her at ease but the baby steps in her recovery puts all of us at ease.

I will always end my entries with gratitude. Gratitude for your love, support, prayers and thoughts they are good for us and Lauren.

Love,

Us

A room with a view....

Today Lauren was moved from the ICU to the 7th floor trauma unit at the hospital! She is also thankful more awake and trying to talk. The doctor let us know today that tomorrow then will take her off of the ventilator and in the coming days replace the tube in her throat with a shorter one that will give her the ability to speak. They also hope that by next week she will be able to be wheeled into the waiting area to see the kids!!

I will write more later but wanted to share the good news!

If you decide to start back home, turn to page 4

When I was in fifth grade my teacher Mrs. Cross used to take our class to the library every week. When the doors opened kids dashed not driven by their love of reading but to ensure that they arrived at the paperback section first for the best selection of the "Choose Your Own Adventure" series. If you have never had the pleasure of choosing your own adventure the premise of the books is that why the theme and the beginning of a storyline is laid out throughout the book you choose the fate of the main character. Of course the best part of the book is that should you choose p.86 and realize your headed for doom you can always go back to that fork in the road and choose another page with another outcome.

Throughout Lauren's hospital stay I have felt like we are caught in a Twlight Zone version of "Choose Your Own Adventure". Every one of Lauren's aliments has a different outcome each escalates in it's seriousness. She could have minor effects from teh stroke or she could always be in a state of semi-consiusness. Her breathing could get better or she could wheel of oxygen tank around with her all her life.

While we may not know the events along the path to Lauren's recovery we refuse to turn to the page where she is anything but an altered version of who she was--funny, full of life, loving and fabulous. We will accepted altered beause every experience in life changes you but we refuse to believe in the worst case scenarios instead we have faith that our heroine will fall in the best case scenario because she already has!

Tomorrow marks the second week since the accident. The doctors have removed her ventilator, feeding, and suction tubes from her mouth. Instead she has a small feeding tube in her belly and the doctors did the tracheotomy. Lauren now has a tube in her throat giving her a clear airway to breathe. This makes her more comfortable, gives her better quality breathes and most importantly gives the doctors the ability to finally wake her up.

Weening Lauren off of the sedatives will not be easy. She will begin to really feel the pain that hovers over, around and through her. Last night the weening process began she became a little restless so they upped her pain meds. Last night she created a new record for how long her eyes were opened. She looked around the room and looked at each of her visitors. The kid is coming back!

Much like the story lines of my favorite fifth grade books, we needed a timeline, we needed to understand what happens next? We finally got sketch of a timeline that let's us prepare, understand and plan for what is next. So it looks like this: in the next fews days they hope to move Lauren out of the ICU and into a similar department that will care for her. From there the would like to send Lauren to a rehab facility where they will work with her on her breathing, endurance and her weak right side.

Each day gets a little easier. I wish I could skip forward a few chapters and take a peek into the future--just to easy some of the worry and stress. But in this life while we make choices we can't take them back or alter the effects of them. Instead we wait and take it all as it comes. This too shall pass and what will be will be.

We're not "out of the woods" yet but we can see the exit sign. Keep up the prayers and good wishes. Whether you know Lauren or if you read this blog to support one of our family members--your friendship make the us collectively stronger. I often show my sister the posts on Facebook or the well wishes strangers to her have sent to any one of us and I know it helps bring her some joy at a time when she is beginning to feel the effects of this whole situation.

Thank you for your friendship, prayers, and thoughts. Keep 'em coming!

Love,
us

Pretty Brown Eyes

"Look at everything as though you are seeing it for the first time, with eyes of a child, fresh with wonder." -Joseph Cornell

By every set of elevators in the hospital the Chaplin posts a new quote every few days. The quote above was posted today and I thought it was fitting as today we was the first real glimpse of Lauren returning to us. Today on and off through out the day as visitors entered and greeted her Lauren opened her eyes. Sometimes she would also look as if she were smirking. She would at times close one eyes as if she were trying to focus on who you were or on a particular object.

While she has been responding to commands up until today she has not had her eyes open for more than a few seconds. Today she worked up to almost a minute! My nephew Wade said it was like having a baby every little eye opening, toe wiggling thing she does and we all beam like newborn parents.

In was in a quiet moment today that Lauren gave me a little sign that she's in there ready to come out--listening to each of us and to all of your thoughts and prayers. As I held her hand and told her I loved her she tickled my hand. This is something Lauren usually does when we sit together and talk. Every since she was little.

It's these little moments that pushes away the worry and brings in more laughter and joy. Tonight as we sat rejoicing over Lauren's little milestones just a few doors down a family was saying there goodbyes in the ICU. As our room filled with wonder at Lauren's open eyes and mouth movements, their room filled with a sadness all too familiar to our family. The sadness of a tragic event, a life unfinished and a family left with an overwhelming grief that fills your heart.

You could hear the tears from the many family members gathered outside the room. Oh how we felt for them. It was bizarre to watch the ICU function normally as this family's world fell apart. I almost felt guilty while I thanked God that it wasn't us and prayed for that family to heal again soon.

We have built a little community in the temporary waiting room on the 4th floor of the hospital. Ordinarily this waiting room is for the maternity ward down the hall but while they finish construction on the 3rd floor ICU waiting room we all sleep, eat and build community on the 4th floor. We've gotten to know some of the families and their stories. My mom and sisters who haven't spent full days at the hospital often check in with family members or the patients themselves. Some of them in much worst shape than Lauren but each of us understands the ups and downs of the ICU. It's kind of ironic that periodically a "rock a bye baby" like tune chimes through the waiting area signaling the birth of a new baby.

I'll close this post with my last update of the day. Near the end of visiting hours tonight as my mom and sister sat with Lauren the doctor came by to say they found something on one of Lauren's x-rays. My mom and sister braced themselves for a new development. Apparently the last set of x-rays found a piece of metal lodged in Lauren throat. Hmmm....a piece of metal. Any guesses? It seems that in the course of getting Lauren's ventilator in when she arrived at the hospital her tongue ring came loose and stayed stuck in her throat. Reason #462 why you may want to re-think that tongue ring. The doctor asked everyone to leave while he fished her tongue ring out. This was a more involved process but I won't go into that I'll just leave you with the humor of the situation.

Much love,
us

Lauren "Bionic Woman" Jones Est. 2010

Lauren's surgery went well yesterday. She now has three titanium plates holding together the ribs on her left side. They also put in a suction tube to help clean out the fluids from her lungs replacing the tubes that once helped to keep air out of them.

Today they begin to ween Lauren off of the respirator. Our hope is that she does well enough that she is able to be completely breathe on her own and awake by the end of the week.

I realized that it may seem selfish of us to want her awake. At least being awake she can truly communicate with us--about her weak right arm, about whether or not she can see out of that right eye that is still dilated but now responding at last. But really it's just to be able to ask her if she is okay, to tell her we love you and around the world we put out the distress signal and people are praying for you, thinking of you and waiting for the day when we can say you are better.

Awake also means progress it means that she is that much closer to being herself to seeing her children, to coming home and being the process of getting back to her regular life.

Awake also means alot of pain. The nurse warned us that at first she may freak out. while she is semi-conscience and can hear and respond to us until she is completely awake she will not understand what has happened to her. Then the pain will set in. The pain from her ribs, from the mere act of breathing will be unbelievable.

So we will take things one day at a time. We need to focus on what today will bring and remain hopeful about tomorrow. And thank every higher power that she is here with us and will be for a very long time.

With love and gratitude,
us.

7:30 am June 21st

Lauren's surgery is scheduled for 7:30 am on Monday, June 21st! Yah. It is such a relief that she will finally be getting this surgery! I will post an update after the surgery to let everyone know how things went.

Scars...

It's interesting how people panic over scars. Maybe it's vanity or maybe its a reminder of a memory you want to forget. I tend to look at scars like tree rings--they tell your life's story. True some will have a happier story to tell others were lessons we needed to learn and others are just memories of a painful event.

While Lauren has remained stable the doctors are still trying to figure out the best method for her to breathe. While I have shared a lot about her many broken ribs the biggest challenge to her breathing on her own is the fact that she punctured both lungs. She has tubes that are draining the fluid from them but until they heal she can not get a good quality breath on her own and with out a lot of pain. The newest option on the table is a tracheotomy. Essentially they create an incision in her neck to create an open airway through her trachea. At this point it is not definitive that this is what will happen and surgery is also potentially part of the plan.

I can't believe it's only been a week since the accident. I am amazed at the strength of my sister as she goes through this--as many of you know we lost my nephew when he was 16. Although it's been 10 years since he passed, some days the pain is just as raw. Watching your child in pain is never easy but her circumstance makes this even more difficult. We are incredibly blessed to have parents that set a strong foundation for our family and that have loved and supported each of us. We also have a large network of "family" that we have created that have helped through prayer, support, laughter, food, and visits. We are very fortunate and in situations like this it helps to have that perspective.

Lastly some of you have asked how Lauren's kids are doing. This past weekend they spent the night at our house and while you can tell they miss their Mommy they are both doing well. Dereon talked to my mom the other evening on the phone....

Dereon: Where are you Yeya (what he calls my mom)?
Yeya: I'm at the hospital visiting Mommy
Dereon: Oh okay, Yeya take good care of my Mommy!

No worries kiddo--we promise we all will.

Have a very Happy Father's Day everyone.

I reminisce for a spell...

I remember the day that Lauren came home from the hospital. I was nine. I remember my sister came home in a pink robe because my brother in law forgot to bring clothes for her. I sat in a wicker back rocking chair and they put Lauren in my arms. Her cheeks were rosy pink and she was chubby and soft everywhere, unlike her brother Spencer who was always solid and hard.

When we were growing up Lauren wasn't super girly but she could hang with Spencer and her cousin Wade. They were mischievous and they always had each other's back no matter what. Lauren proved although she was soft on the outside she was tough on the inside.

My mom crowned her "Little Princess" and she lived up to the title. The only niece and granddaughter for many years she took privilege with kisses, cuddles and this sneaky little leg move that landed her on your lap before you knew it! Although I am older she became a mother before me but it gave me a sense of wonder when she would give me advice about how to care for my daughter. It has been a privilege to watch her grow up. Even though she was the only girl she sometimes got lost in the middle of her brother and cousin. But there is a loving spirit that radiates out of her that everyone around her feels.

Even throughout this experience the nurses have commented about how Lauren is a fighter and about how strong her spirit is. That's part of what makes seeing her laying in her bed hooked up to machines with tubes sprinkled around her body so difficult. It's also difficult to cope with the ups and downs of her prognosis--or should I say what her prognosis may be.

After they decided to postpone Lauren's surgery it was a bit of a waiting game to get the results of her MRI. While the results seemed okay the doctor expressed concerns with Lauren having such an invasive surgery at this point, he decided that he wanted to take her off of the ventilator that have been helping her breathe.

JOY! We rejoiced in this news. Two hours after they took her off the ventilator they decided she was not ready. She was in too much pain and discomfort so back on the ventilator she went.

They also discovered that Lauren had a mild stroke. The word stroke is scary. It's a very serious medical term that in my experience had meant nothing good. (But I have also learned that a concussion can equal brain damage. Makes sense I guess....if someone scrapes your car it's damage--right? I guess some medical terms are much more literal than we all think.)

Her stroke may result in her having to go through some form of physical therapy for her right arm. There could also be the possibility of slurred speech when she does come too. We just won't know until she is awake and can talk to us.

For now they are weening her off of the medication that keeps her sedated so that she can slowly wake up. At the same time they are working on managing her pain so while she is awake it is somewhat bearable.

Our family has been doing shifts at the hospital because to us she is still our "Little Princess" and we can't imagine her being alone. It's a lot like watching her grow up all over again--we don't want to miss a thing. Every move of a leg, hand, opening of her eyes brings us such joy.

We can not thank everyone enough for your love and support during this time. No part of this is easy and although we have each other and our faith we know that each of us is hurting, worried and hopeful. Each of you help to not only heal Lauren but you help to heal each of us as well.

We like you can not wait for the day that she is back home. And we promise to give her all the cuddles and kisses that she can stand.

Keep the prayers and good wishes coming.

Love,

Us

Surgery postponed

What a roller coaster ride this has been. From the moment we arrived at the hospital the information we have received about Lauren's condition has changed with each doctor that has come to visit. The list of doctors has been numerous: a trauma doctor, a neurologist, an optometrist, and a surgeon. It's been a bit fustrating since at times it appears that the opinions of these different doctors differs from day to day.

They have decided to postpone Lauren's surgery until after they do an MRI. This is the same MRI that they told us was unneccasary but now for serveral reasons has become neccasary. The doctors want to understand why Lauren's right arm continues to be so weak. It is possible that it is the result of her rib injury or there is a possibility that she has nerve damage. The other reason for the MRI is to completely understand the extent of the broken bones in her neck. The doctors want to be sure that the positioning of her body during surgery will not cause further damage to her neck.

So finally after a delayed 10 am then 11 am surgery and then a scheduled 5:00 pm MRI they have taken her to get the MRI around 8:15 pm or so.

And so the waiting begins....again.

While the surgeon let us know that the surgery would hopefully take place on Monday we are still hoping and praying that there are no suprises after the MRI.

My mom (Lauren's grandmother) and sister Paula (Lauren's mother) have set up camp on the 4th floor of the hospital. Please be sure to come and check in with them or another family member before heading down to see Lauren in the ICU. Last night she sat up and tried to get out of bed! She has become our little escape artist. Because of this the nurses has become more strict about the 2 visitor at a time rule. This ensures that Lauren is not overly stimulated and she can rest. We appreciate and welcome all visitors we just want to be sure that we can rotate everyone through.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers--keep them coming!

Titanium: A space age metal....

Lauren's surgery is today. The surgeon said the procedure will last around two hours.

We are hopeful that after the surgery she will get some relief from her rib pain and will be breathing better which will lead to her getting the breathing tube removed!

We will keep everyone updated! Keep her in your thoughts.

The Bionic Woman

Lauren's accident happened in the wee hours of Saturday morning. No one else was in the car and there was no other car involved in the accident. Unfortunately she was not wearing her seat belt and was thrown from her car after losing control and landed in a ditch. She landed on her right side which is where she sustained most of her injuries.


Of all her injuries the most troubling has been the damage to her ribs. She has several broken ribs on each side as well as punctured lung because of this she has tubes draining the fluid from each lung. Tomorrow she will undergo surgery to repair the breaks on her left side. The procedure entails placing titanium plates (that look a lot like bike chains) on each of the breaks to hold the broken rib bones together. These plates will stay in forever. Thus giving Lauren the name "Bionic Women" like that 70's show where the main character was saved by having some of her limbs replaced by "bionic" ones that gave her super powers. The surgery will leave a nasty scar or as I like to call it a battle wound. Just like a little kid that falls and scraps it's knee--Lauren will always have a reminder of this experience and how blessed she is to live to tell the tale.

My last update is the best piece of news I have to share. Even under heavy sedation Lauren's spunk is still there. Last night even through the pain meds and the fact that her hands are tied down she found a way to shimmy her head down to her left hand and almost pull all of the tubes out of her mouth! No worries she wasn't hurt but I really had to just shake my head and think--thatta girl!

We have had folks ask if they can come to visit--we welcome you to come but want everyone to know that there are only two visitors allowed back to see Lauren at a time. Because of this please come to the 4th floor waiting room of Grant Medical Center and check in with which ever family member may be on the floor at the time. This way we can walk you down to Lauren's room switch visitors and give you an update. Visitor's are a nice distraction for everyone. Also visiting hours in the ICU are 9 am-12 pm, 2-5 pm and 8-10 pm. Once Lauren is moved we will be sure to share the new hospital info.

Lastly we want to thank everyone for your prayers and good wishes. Please keep them coming. We feel pleased as a family to be surrounded by so much love.

Dear Friends,

In the early hours of Saturday morning my family received the kind of phone call that every family dreads. My neice Lauren was in a serious car accident. For those of you who don’t know Lauren she is my oldest sister Paula’s daughter. She is nine years my junior and the mother of two my children. She was the Maid of Honor at my wedding, like a little sister, she is clumsy, hilarious, full of life and has one of the best smiles I have ever seen. She is a diva, fashionista and an incredible mother.

The first two days after the accident were the toughest. Her injuries were numerous, brain swelling, a broken neck, too many broken ribs, bruised lungs, a large cut behind her ear. She laid in heavy sedation in the ICU swollen but peaceful.

We now know two important facts: Lauren will live. Thank God. And she will walk. Thank God. After that everything else is put into perspective. A long road of recovery is worth it if she continues to have a long life ahead of her.

I believed in my heart that she would not be taken from us. We were ready to live a life altered in exchange for a life without her.

This message may come as news to some of you and just an update for others. In an effort to keep people informed and to be selfishly work through the myriad of emotions that go through your heart and head when dealing with the healing of someone you love—I have started this blog. I will try to update daily or at least have one of us update until life returns to normal (whatever that is) again.

Please keep Lauren in your thoughts and prayers.

Lourdes-Lauren’s Aunt